Faux Pas

I get a rush of pleasure, whenever

I realise I'm being lied to.

It turns me from a cog stuck in

Social pleasantries,

To a scientist wearing a white coat,

Staring down the microscope

At the nature of the human condition.

My emotions flee the scene of

My detached fascination.

I probe further, letting the subject

Get caught in the web of their own contradictions.

The slow burn excites me.

The panicked, flustered expression

That turns at times into anger,

Or bouts of nervous laughter

And the sudden need to be elsewhere.

He who doesn't lie is not interesting.

I struggle to find people with

Nothing to hide

Worth my time.

It's quite unsettling, you may think,

But lying is an artful game.

I respect the player who plays well,

And one day hope to meet one as

Skilled as myself.

There's nothing wrong with me, it's just

A hobby, a quirk,

An innocent obsession.

You believe me right?

In Loving Memory

There are more graves in this cemetary than all the people I have ever known my entire life.

It's like the ouside world has been muffled. It's almost silent save the rustle of trees in the wind.

There's too many. Too many names, too many lives for my brain to make sense of.

I feel the urge to sink to my knees at every tombstone I read and cry. To mourn people I have never known, and never will.

My future surrounds me as far as I can see. Choking me, warning me, silently calling me.

Time

As the seconds stretch to miles,

I forget each laugh, each smile.

Now all I see is your empty face.

Once a joyful playground,

now a desolate waste.

If only we could have a day together.

An hour, a minute, a single pure moment.

If only there were time.

A million specs of dust

swirling in the rays of dawn.

They lead me back,

from ashes to ashes,

dust to dust,

to the tears on that rainy morn.

You always used to love the rain.

I'd bring your coat but you were already out

the door, your arms apart.

Letting each raindrop reach your heart.

I lie upon the warm beach,

the sand sifting through my fingers,

like the time that has escaped me.

It went so fast, until you were gone.

Now every second feels a thousand years long.

If only each grain,

could remove some pain,

and replace it with a moment with you.

You stared out at the endless sea,

the day you were diagnosed, and asked

what's on the other side of the world?

I said, my girl,

that's for you to explore.

Open your heart, let your mind soar.

If only you had the time to spread your wings and fly.

Or even a chance to try.

If you had time, you would, you knew that you should,

if only you could.

If only, there were time.